How Many? Harry Potter Version
by Nikki99
Summary: For her final Muggle Studies paper Hermione's determined to answer a very important question, just how many licks Does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?... Will she be able to answer it before she drives Harry insane ;


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the Tootsie Pop or the owl, however I do own two cats named Squee and Gizmo… but not their names…sweatdrop Perhaps I should just quit while I'm ahead, ne?

**How Many?**

For some strange reason, out of all the things that Hermione could have done her final Muggle Studies essay on, she had chosen to try and answer a question that she called "a pop culture phenomenon" but Harry and Ron called utterly and completely pointless. For the life of him Harry could not figure out what had made someone as intelligent and practical as Hermione- someone called the "brightest witch of her age" want to answer such a stupid question. What is this stupid question you ask… well, if you have ever had any experience with the muggle culture then I'm quite sure that you've heard it. After all it's been around for decades and is all and all a pretty straightforward question. Have you figured it out yet? If so then perhaps you can be the one to let me know, just how many licks _does_ it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

--

Hermione sat at a small table next to the fireplace in the Room of Requirement attempting to accurately answer this mind boggling question, with Luna just to her right holding a colorful self-inking quill and writing on a piece of parchment. Hermione's mocha colored eyes were looking up towards the vaulted ceiling, her soft unbound locks cascaded around her shoulders as her head tipped back slightly and her face showed an odd, yet admirable determination. She looked so... dorky- and well, cute.

When he and Ron had come in - fresh from Quidditch practice - Neville had immediately intercepted them and told them what Hermione's mission today was. Harry and his red-haired best mate had laughed out right (and out loud) at what she was doing. He honestly couldn't understand why Hermione would waste her time, or why Luna would ever encourage her by agreeing to keep tally... no, wait, yes he did, after all it _was_ Luna, heck this whole thing was probably her idea. Still sniggering, Harry moved his eyes from Neville to his bushy haired best mate sitting at the small table next to the roaring fireplace. The laugher died abruptly in his throat, only to be quickly replaced with strangled coughing and choking sounds.

The way Hermione's small tongue softly lapped at the tip of that blasted peace of candy was driving him to the edge of sanity.

After being roughly clapped on the back a couple of times by an extremely amused Neville, Harry finally regained his breath, belatedly realizing he wasn't the only one having trouble breathing. However another quick glance over at the table, against his better judgment, put him right back where he was before, thankfully minus the painful choking.

"Ugh!" He groaned plopping down on the couch and hitting his head against the dark coffee table with an unceremonious, _**'thud'**_.

How many licks _does_ it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop? The hell if he knew- but Hermione's determination to find out was killing him, and rather painfully mind you.

Harry took several deep breaths and focused on not showing his discomfort to his mates, especially Ron who had just broken up with her several weeks back. Luckily for all of their friendships, the termination of the relationship was quite mutual and there were no hard feelings. When Hermione and Ron had first started dating everyone had figured that they fought so much out of some twisted sense of foreplay. However, after they had been together for over five months and the fighting seemed to be getting even worse, they quickly realized that perhaps they were in fact better as just friends.

This was a decision that Harry was both secretly thrilled and extremely uncomfortable about at the same time. After all, Ron and Hermione were his best mates… why was he happy when they broke up? At first he thought that it may have had to do with no longer having to be constantly stuck in the middle of their various tedious arguments. It wasn't until he had had a dream one night that he realized why really was thrilled about the break-up. Harry blushed to his roots as he thought back on the contents of the dream, and gave another soft tap to the table with his head. Boy was he glad that neither Ron nor Hermione could read minds right now, or he'd probably find himself on the end of some very painful hexes.

"Er… you ok there Harry?" Neville asked, giving him a worried look as he took a seat next to the other boy on the couch.

Picking up his head and rubbing it slightly where he had hit it… twice, Harry focused his attention back onto the dark-haired boy in front of him and used all of his willpower to ignore the dark-haired girl just behind Neville.

"Fine," he mumbled, wincing a bit and rubbing his forehead once more.

'That's gonna leave a mark,' Harry thought with a sigh, adjusting his bangs to cover the red patch he already knew was forming.

"Bloody hell mate, are you sure?" Ron asked, clapping him forcefully on the shoulder. "That was a pretty nice thud you made there."

Harry slapped Ron's hand away from his shoulder and turned his head giving his mate an annoyed look. Upon making eye contact with his best friend Harry immediately noticed that while his face remained fixed in an expression of concern, Ron's eyes defiantly held more than a hint of humor.

"I said I'm fine, Ron," he stated, fighting an embarrassed blush.

"Well good, now that that's settled, why in Merlin's beard would you do something so freakin' barmy anyway?!" Ron exclaimed plopping down on the couch next to Harry and grabbing a peanut butter cookie from the plate on the table.

Harry suppressed a groan. He hoped that his best mate really was oblivious as to why he had used is head as an instrument to make, as he put it, such a "nice thud".

"I just remembered I have a Potions essay due for Snape that I haven't even started on yet, that's all," Harry responded, pulling at his tie and giving a nervous grin.

"Eh, I understand that, believe you me. Been in that boat more than once myself," Ron replied giving him a sympathetic look and munching on his cookie. "It'll work out. Don't worry mate, it happens to the best of us." When a dainty snort came from the direction of table, the three boys looked over at the two girls. "What? Did you have some lippy comment that you wanted to make Hermione?" Ron asked giving the brunette a hacked off look. When she ignored him and continued to work on her task Ron threw her one last glare and then continued. "Don't worry about it mate, just because _SOME PEOPLE_ would rather have _BOOKS_ than _LIVES_, doesn't mean fine young blokes such as ourselves, have to live that way too," the other boy proclaimed loudly.

After that declaration the red-haired boy finally got what he had been pushing for when he was rewarded with a pair of rich chocolate eyes that had flicked from the ceiling and focused on him with a fierce glower. Hermione obviously overheard his "quiet" statement to Harry and Neville was glaring daggers at Ron. Still seething she lowered the small red lolly from her mouth and her rose colored lips pressed together in a small scowl effectively drawing Harry's attention there, and promptly causing another groan.

'Bugger!'

_**'Thud'**_

His head once again a head connected with the dark coffee table.

Licking the sweet had turned Hermione's small yet firm lips a delectable two tone color. Her soft lips were rose colored along the edges, but blended perfectly into more of a deep strawberry color the closer it got to the opening of her mouth. And anyone who knew Harry knew that his absolute favorite flavor of fruit the strawberry, it was just so plump, soft and juicy...

"Uuggg," Harry moaned, as images of what juicy lips could do invaded his thoughts and attacked mind. As he continued to attempt to get his thoughts straight and focus on something else… anything else, he heard faint chuckling coming from his left.

"What's the matter Harry?" Neville asked, his voice laced with humor. "Did you forget a Transfiguration assignment too?"

Slowing lifting his head Harry glowered at his friend - much to Neville's amusement - in the same exact manner in which Hermione had been glaring at Ron only moments earlier.

"No?" Neville pressed cocking his head to the side and unable to resist the temptation for a little more teasing. "Let me guess… was it Chemistry then?"

Harry's eyes widened for an instant before returning to glaring slits at the other boy's teasing smile.

"They don't teach Chemistry at Hogwarts you git," he ground out thorough clenched teeth.

Neville's grin widened, "Right'o mate- ok, well how about…" he trailed off with a thoughtful expression. He then turned his head and gave a quick glance to Hermione who was talking to Luna, before looking back at Harry and cheerfully offering another option. "How about Muggle Studies then?" Neville commented wagging his brows.

'Is he actually wagging his brows at me? Freakin' smarmy prat.' Harry thought seething silently for a minute, before getting an idea. Clearing all anger from his face, he gave Neville a feigned smile, which became genuine at the other boy's wary look.

"Actually, I just remembered that I needed to practice some new stunning spells for the next D.A. meeting and the room doesn't seem to be equipped with any of those practice dummies we always use," he paused giving a thoughtful expression before exclaiming with a look of with mock excitement. "Hey I know! How about you stand in?"

Neville raised his hands in surrender and gave a mirthful laugh, "Maybe next time, _I_ actually do have an essay for Transfiguration to work on." He commented standing, however as he headed towards the bookshelf and plush reading chair he couldn't resist calling out. "Try not to put a dent in the table while I'm gone ok?! I may still need to do some work there!" Neville laughed as a chocolate chip cookie came hurdling at him and bounced off his head.

"You know if you're going to beat yourself up every time you remember that you forgot something, I would appreciate if you did it _away_ from the cookies," Ron interjected, picking up the large ceramic plate and shielding it protectively. "Also, if you want to throw something could you try to make sure it's not food? After all there _are_ people starving in Australia you know."

Harry gave Ron an exasperated look "You mean Africa, don't you?"

"Same difference," the other boy answered with a shrug glaring at Harry who had filched one of his horded cookies. Turning away to shield the rest the redhead pulled the latest Quidditch magazine out of his robe pocket and began to read up on the Cannon's latest game… well, their latest loss that is.

Harry shook his head at his mate's antics before, once again against his better judgment, looking back over to his left. Taking in the scene before him Harry quickly noted that, with encouragement from Luna, Hermione had once again resumed her quest to answer that damned owl's question. However this time, instead of small quick strokes her tongue was doing long slow licks that made him decidedly, er… uncomfortable.

Harry's turbulent green eyes instantly became fixated on the small soft tongue that had taken on the same strawberry tint as her lips. He watched hungrily as it slowly lapped the side of the hard shiny crimson candy. Harry suddenly felt as though he had been with the Petrificus Totalus spell, because no matter how hard he tried he found that he was unable to turn away from the hypnotic and somewhat erotic sight of his best mate slowly devouring the delectable sweet, especially when the corners of Hermione's mouth quirked upward in obvious pleasure at something.

Pleasure… just the thought of that word caused the slightest tremble in his hand, which was still holding his long since forgotten pilfered cookie. Long graceful fingers unconsciously stroked the edges of the sweet, involuntarily melting rich chocolate onto his warm fingertips. Without thinking about, or even realizing what he was doing, Harry's tongue slipped out and lightly licked his lips faintly mimicking Hermione's actions. Fantasies of their tongues dancing together in a blaze of heated passion invaded his thoughts, causing Harry to close his eyes and his hand to give a restrained jerk in an effort not to touch what he could never have.

The sudden forceful movement caused the soft homemade cookie to crumble instantly in his strong hands, lightly dusting his robes with chocolate and crumbs and rudely awakening him from his hormone induced reverie. Jerking back to reality and coming to the realization of just where his fantasies had led him… and who about, Harry shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts.

"Oi mate! I could have eaten that you know!" Ron exclaimed in dismay, noticing the wasted treat littering his friend's robes.

"Er…sorry," Harry muttered.

'I have to get out of here,' he thought to himself. Abruptly standing, he speedily brushed the remnants of the discarded cookie off his robes. Then squeezing between Ron and the coffee table, Harry hurriedly made his way to the door of the Room of Requirement swiftly opening it he had almost made a clean getaway when him mate called out to him.

"Hey! Where you going?!" Ron exclaimed loudly while giving his best friend's back a bewildered look.

"I… I have to talk to the professor," Harry yelled in return just as the door shut behind him with a loud 'click'.

Ron frowned "Which professor?" He asked rhetorically, shaking his head he looked over at Neville, who was sitting in the chair by the bookcase. "Completely mental that one," he commented, giving a firm nod of affirmation before opening his magazine once more and flipping back to the page he had been previously reading.

Like Harry, Ron never noticed the conspiratorial glances that passed between the other three occupants of the room. He never noticed when Luna pushed her parchment aside and sat down her quill, before dipping a hand under the table and pulling out a copy of _The Quibbler_. He was so into the interview with the Cannons that he also failed to notice when Neville put away his Transfiguration books and pulled a small plant over from the side of the heavy bookcase. However, most importantly he never noticed it when a pair of rich chocolate eyes fixed on the doorway dancing in amusement or the way the sensual strawberry colored mouth quirked with satisfaction and took a big bite out of a bright red Tootsie Pop.

**A.N.** This is just a little ditty that I wrote for a fanfic challenge on another site. I hope you guys enjoyed it, please feel free to let me know what you think! Ja ne!!


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